I'll be waiting for you, Marco
by Plaguedwithfire
Summary: Jean can't stop blaming himself for the death of his best friend. His stress and depression gets the best of him. Rated M for suicide.


Jean stared at Marco's grave. Remembering all their moments together, the way Marco inspired him to join the scouting legion. Their first moments in training.. It was raining hard that day but it barely affected Jean. "How could I have let this happen..." He thought to himself. "I should have been there.. I can't even avenge you..." Jean said. He fell to his knees and stared down at the dirt. "Even if I could...there's thousands of titans... maybe millions. And... I can't fight them all.." He began to choke on his own words. "IT WOULDN'T EVEN BRING YOU BACK" Jean yelled aloud, with tears falling down his cheeks. He pounded his fists against the muddy ground. "YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THIS. WHENEVER I GO TO SLEEP, I'M ALWAYS THINKING IM GOING TO WAKE UP TO YOU" . Jean kept pounding the ground, mud splattering onto his coat." IT ISNT FAIR... it isnt fair.." Jean repeated to himself as his fist became tired., so he just laid there on his knees. Staring at the grave with blurry eyes. "Im sorry, Marco...".

Jean got up. His feelings were in such a wreck, so he trotted back to his house. He took off his coat and boots, going straight to his bed. It felt empty.. for this was the house ,and bed Marco and him shared. Jean's face felt as if it were drained of all his tears. He laid there, staring at the wall. He felt so pathetic.. How could he have let it happen? He repeated this question ever since he saw Marco's corpse. Jean couldn't take the guilt anymore. He got up, going towards his closet. He pulled out a rope, and then got a chair from the kitchen, pulling it towards his room. He stepped on top of it and tied the noose to a hook on the ceiling. " This is what I deserve" Jean said to himself, putting the rope around his neck. Tears began forming again in his eyes, as he slowly moved towards the edge of the chair. Slipping off, Jean cringed his face, waiting for the suffication to start.

But it didn't. He was confused... until he felt a warmth he recognized. Jean hesitated as he looked down. Marco looked concerned, holding Jean up by his legs. "What are you doing, Jean?!" Marco said. Jean stood speechless. Marco slid him back onto the chair and looked straight into his eyes. "Quit blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault! I fought hard until the end. You should know that.." Jean's tears rolled down his cheeks. "What else am I suppose to do.." Jean managed to choke out. "YOU CAN'T END IT LIKE THIS!" Marco yelled, hugging Jean's legs tightly. Jean's eyes widen. "NOW ISNT YOUR TIME. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.. I know i'm gone. But Jean, I believe in you. You'll defeat them with the help of your friends.." "It doesn't matter if i'm going to lose them one by one.." "If so, will you let our deaths be in vain?" Silence stood even longer. "Jean, I know you're better than this, unloosen it.." Jean slowly took off the noose, falling to his knees, hugging Marco tightly, sobbing. Marco's warmth seemed too good to be true. "I've missed you so much.." Marco smiled, slowly pulling Jean down to the floor with him. He hugged Jean as tight as he could.

"Jean.. will you promise me something?" Jean nodded slowly, wiping his tears to the side, not wanting to let go of Marco. "Live everyday.. as if it were your last. Don't keep living in the past. Just be patient and the time will come when you've worked your hardest and leave with pride." Marco's voice soon began to fade, Jean looked up but found himself too weak. Jean's vision darken as well but he could hear the last words Marco had for him. He closed his eyes, smiling softly.

Jean woke up with chest pain. Eren, Connie, Sasha and Mikasa were staring down, Sasha with tears in her eyes. Mikasa and Connie looked frightened but relieved. Eren slapped Jean. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Jean coughed and got up, holding his cheek. "what...?" Eren pointed to the noose, on the side was a knife. "Eren saved me?" Jean thought to himself, he looked at Eren with widen eyes. "DON'T EVER TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN. WE DON'T NEED TO LOSE MORE OF OUR FRIENDS. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT, KIRCHEISTEN. YOU GOT THAT?!" Eren said, his eyes red with fury. "Friends..?" Jean said. Sasha fell to her knees, sobbing , hugging Jean tightly. "What Eren means to say, you can't give up so easily. Don't ever do it again, Jean...". "Yeah. We're lucky to have found you in time" Connie said kneeling down next to him. Jean looked down. "Thank you.."

A couple months passed by. Jean had become stronger and his relations had grown strong with the others, even goddamn Jaeger. He sat on the roof top, waiting for a new day of intense training to start. Jean looked up at the cerulean sky, laying on his back. He smiled.

_I'll be waiting for you too, Marco._


End file.
